Finding the silence within us
I write you this brief reflection from high upon some Rocky Mountain. I am at a conference for leaders of “new worshiping communities” within a network that partners with Harbor. At our opening session, one of the guest leaders recited a Howard Thurman quote for us to reflect on.
It wasn’t the one from the Harbor retreat about the altar on the island in the inner sea, but still—two retreats in a row with a Howard Thurman quote! In typical Thurman style, this one (in a somewhat poetic form) cuts deep, and I thought I’d share it with you:
How good it is to center down!
To sit quietly and see one’s self pass by!
The streets of our minds seethe with endless traffic; Our spirits resound with clashings, with noisy silences,
While something deep within hungers and thirsts for the still moment and the resting lull.
With full intensity we seek, ere the quiet passes, a fresh sense of order in our living;
A direction, a strong sure purpose that will structure our confusion and bring meaning to our chaos. …
The questions persist: what are we doing with our lives? – what are the motives that order our days?
What is the end of our doings?
Where are we trying to go?
Where do we put the emphasis and where are our values focused? …
Over and over the questions beat in upon the waiting moment.
As we listen, floating up through all the jangling echoes of our turbulence, there is a sound of another kind–
A deeper note which only the stillness of the heart makes clear.
It moves directly to the core of our being.
Our questions are answered,
Our spirits refreshed, and we move back into the traffic of our daily round
With the peace of the Eternal in our step.
How good it is to center down!
I love the imagery in this reflection. It’s not only our external lives—the work, family, busyness—that resembles a crowded highway. It’s also our inner selves, with their jumble of thoughts, questions, and pursuits of meaning.
When we carry this loud traffic within us, Thurman calls us to “center down,” to put on our turn signal and head for the nearest exit of our inner cacophony. The remarkable claim Thurman makes is that doing this work—gaining some perspective as we gaze out upon the traffic of our hearts in a moment of not actively being caught up in it—isn’t just good because it’s restful but because it actually helps with the traffic.
For Thurman, part of the inner chaos is the barrage of questions we carry about life and purpose. And when we find some silence and stillness within, we are in a position to discover (mystically, in a way that has to do with God) some of the answers we seek.
Then when we return to the traffic (both the inner traffic of our normal thoughts/feelings/questions and the outer traffic of life circumstances), we return a little different.
With the peace of the Eternal in our step.
