Retreat of a different variety
This weekend marks the fourth annual Harbor Retreat, and while several of our folks are gathering in Minnesota, many of us are not. I am part of the “not” crowd. It isn’t that I don’t want to be there—it’s that I can’t be. Am I a little bummed to be missing out this year? You bet. But, as this isn’t my first experience with retreat FOMO, I’ve figured out that it is possible to have a retreat experience at home.
Stay with me.
I am a word nerd, which means that one of my favorite parts of primary school was learning vocabulary. I still love it. There are three primary definitions of the word retreat according Merriam-Webster:
An act or process of withdrawing, especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable
A place of privacy or safety
A period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study or instruction under a director
When we think of spiritual retreats we often imagine something like church camp: traveling to be with friends, playing games, refreshing our weary spirits with good content, and enjoying meals that we neither had to plan nor prepare. Those things make for a wonderful experience, but for those of us who don’t have the ability or availability to participate in the traditional method, we can still take a retreat. It just requires a little creativity.
I am choosing this coming weekend to build a personal experience, at home, using the definition as a guide for my approach, and I thought it might be helpful to share with those who cannot physically be with our Harbor family in Minnesota.
1. Withdrawing from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.
The simplest way for me to do this is to step away from social media and the news for a few days. God knows, in this particular era of human existence, we are not short on difficult and dangerous events. There is a balance between staying informed and drowning yourself in wave after wave of breaking news that threatens your hope and motivation for action. I cannot just put my phone away or turn it off for days on end, but I can temporarily delete social media apps, mute notifications, and designate specific times to keep it out of reach. As I frequently remind myself, the world and its news will still be there tomorrow. It’s okay to take a day or two off.
2. A place of privacy or safety
Home is the safest place for me. I’ve spent much of my adult life curating a home that is as safe as possible (emotionally and physically) for anyone who crosses my threshold. Privacy, however, is an entirely different challenge. There are currently five adults, two dogs, and a cat here. Quiet is a luxury; headphones help. I have a cheap pair of pink over-ear headphones that serve as a notice to my family that I am not to be disturbed (sometimes I even wear them with absolutely nothing playing, but maybe that can stay here between us.) If home isn’t the place you need it to be for retreat, maybe you can find a local park, library, or coffee shop.
3. A period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study or instruction under a director
Unless you are retreating at home with someone else, the group and direction part of this endeavor can be tricky. I’ve decided to host my own retreat at home on Saturday and Sunday, which will help me feel like I am with my fellow Harboristas in mind if not in body.
For agenda and content, I’ve created my own retreat schedule and printed it so I don’t derail my personal goals by having no structure. I’ve also purchased a nine-hour audiobook—The Color of Compromise by Jemar Tisby (read by the author)—so that I can break it into multiple listening sessions. The key for me is to be an active listener, taking notes while listening just as I would to a speaker at a group retreat or conference. And after each session, I’ve blocked some time to meditate on what I’ve learned and journal my thoughts and feelings.
Other ways I’m romanticizing my personal retreat at home include setting a menu with some of my favorite foods/snacks, setting aside blocks of time for working on craft projects, and taking a slow treadmill walk while enjoying a virtual hike from YouTube (Walks of Wonder has some stunning virtual hikes).
No, it’s not exactly the same as being in the presence of others in a different setting without distraction. But creating an intentional space and strategy for stepping away from the chaos of life to refresh and motivate the spirit is the whole point of a retreat, and there is no reason I can’t do that at home since I can’t be with others. Maybe, with a little planning and creativity, it can be the same for you.
